so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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