you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
