hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize