So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
