I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
