Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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