Don't you send me to vm
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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