We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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