have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
