So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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