Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize