using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
this is an emotional support booty call
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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