K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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