Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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