she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
