i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
