Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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