i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
