Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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