Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
