So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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