My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
