Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
