she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
