I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
