trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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