is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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