i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i would punch a child for taco bell
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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