Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize