I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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