wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
