After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
4 words: hood of his car
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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