I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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