I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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