They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
