this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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