There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
