Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
