anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
