Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
youre lurking in front of me
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
