Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Randomize
