the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
