maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
