The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
