youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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