Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The uberlube is also flammable
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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