Do you still have your period?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize