college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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