I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
