Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
