bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
