So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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