fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
