I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm too high and old for this...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize