i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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