check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
