Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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