This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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