im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
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The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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