last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
