Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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