how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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