are you still at the devil's house?
how can u be prego again
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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