WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
