I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
